Blow out the smoke 05/05/2010

Blow out the smoke just to clear out your thoughts,
but boy, in the end you never get what you want,
Cause I’m tired of this ocean,
of unstable emotions,
getting sick on this ship,
with the back and forth motions,
You push and I pull,
A flame without fuel,
You wrote the script,
While I just played the fool,
And the line went,
“Heartbeats hurt baby,
didn’t you know?
the bullet breaks skin,
but the blood doesn’t flow.”
So I’ll give you the choice,
It’s a yes or a no,
You make the decision
if I stay or I go,
Cause I thought you were the one,
but now it’s just a blur,
Do I really want you?
Or the person that you were?
You see, I’m lying in bed,
but I can’t fall asleep,
Resenting all those times
you made my heart skip a beat,
I hear the tune of your laugh
taste sweetness of your smile
turning bitter on my lips,
now that it’s settled for awhile,
Because what did you think?
That it would all just make sense?
Boy what were we ever
but simple pretense?
So look me in the eyes,
with a stare so intense,
I have no excuses,
no truth or defense,
All I hear are the words,
that you hold back from saying,
as you withdraw your feelings
but front with your faking,
all the things that I gave,
that you knew you were taking,
so ignore what you’re hearing,
that’s just my heart breaking.
Yet all of these words,
will go left unspoken,
written down in some letter,
that will never be opened,
I was never naive,
but I still kept on hoping,
so don’t make any promises,
I don’t want them broken.
And maybe it’s a case of
some really bad timing,
The only cloud in the sky
that didn’t have a silver lining,
but the truth is I would’ve stopped
the sun from even shining,
if that was what you wanted,
just so I could keep you smiling,
Cause I would’ve done anything to get your attention,
Bend over backwards for a bit of affection,
Put fingers on your lips just to increase the tension,
but the touch that I left there didn’t leave an impression,
And now I’m blowing out the smoke,
from this one last cigarette,
Hoping that in time,
I can forgive, or just forget,
But I can’t help but think back
to the first time that we met,
When I fell for you so fast,
didn’t even break a sweat.
So thanks a lot heartbreaker,
Guess this is what I get,
For trusting you so much,
Now I’m stuck with this regret.
But you know that this is something,
that I never would admit,
Another lost battle,
I’ll learn to just forget,
I hate that you’re the one
who even got me this upset,
Don’t know why you said,
You loved me
if it wasn’t what you meant.

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